


You were a good dream

by kkkalguksu



Category: K-pop, NCT (Band), WayV(band)
Genre: Angst, Dreams, Dreams vs. Reality, Fluff and Angst, K-Pop - Freeform, Kunten, Lee Yongqin, M/M, Mentioned Dong Si Cheng | WinWin, Mentioned Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, WayV - Freeform, nct - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:01:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24944278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kkkalguksu/pseuds/kkkalguksu
Summary: “Why are you here? Are you lost?” Kun mutters as he sit on the cloud.“No. I’m here to save you.” The beautiful man utters with a smile, “I am Ten, do you want to come with me?” The man named Ten offers his hand to Kun and when Kun was about to take the hand offered to him, someone disturbed him from his sleep.Kun’s dreams are always better than his real life. In his reality, he always feel empty; even with his lips smiling, he cannot feel a single strand of joy in his heart. He feels like he’s drowning with emotions that he barely understand. People around him are convincing him to ask some help from professionals regarding this field, but no. He refuses to believe that he’s mentally ill.Well, his dreams are unlike any other dream. His dreams are continuous— like a story. In his dream, there’s always this handsome guy who feels so familiar to him, they became friends who can share their thoughts and their real feelings with each other without trying to hide anything. However, this friend isn’t related to him in reality— not at all.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun, KunTen - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	You were a good dream

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, dear readers!  
> I am back with another KunTen au! So I was rereading 'The Little Prince' and got inspired to write something cute like that. The words that are in bold and are italicize are lyrics from Ed Sheeran's All of the Stars, you might want to listen to it while reading this, especially during the middle part. 
> 
> Enjoy! ♡

“Why are you here? Are you lost?” Kun mutters as he sit on the cloud.

“No. I’m here to save you.” The beautiful man utters with a smile, “I am Ten, do you want to come with me?” The man named Ten offers his hand to Kun. The older man stares at it for a moment, and he nods, he was about take Ten’s hand when someone calls his name from the distance, “Kun! I’ll leave now, alright?” He just responded a soft groan to his roommate, Yukhei.

When Yukhei left the room, Kun is still hesitant to move, he’s just lying in bed with his eyes closed, and he is trying to remember his short dream. _This is my first time, after a long time, to have a dream,_ he thought, _he looks like an angel, I wonder where I saw him…_ He tries to recall where he met the man in his dream, but he can’t think of anything in particular. He was interrupted out of his reverie by the alarm clock on his bedside table.

He sighs. It’s time to wake up again… time to face the new world that is ahead of him. He walks to the bathroom and starts to wash his own face. He feels so weak; he looks at his own face in front of the mirror and forces a smile on his face, one smile that will make people believe that he is _really_ happy.

He can’t quite remember when was the last time he smiled genuinely. To him, a smile is just a sweet façade to make people believe that he’s fine. It’s a power that he holds so that his family and friends will not worry about him. He lets out another deep sigh before wearing his jeans and his favorite shirt. When’s he’s finally done arranging his bed and fixing his hair, he wears his specs and starts his day by drinking his favorite latte in front of the café of their university.

**________________**

“You’re here again…” Kun smiled at Ten who is now sitting in front of him, “are you lost?” Ten smiled at him again. _His smile is pretty_ , Kun thought as Ten shakes his head and said, “I told you, I am not lost. That I am here to save you.”

“To save me? How?” Kun frowns, Ten lets out a soft giggle, “I dunno, tell me. How can I help you?”

“I am a star… You cannot help me.” Kun mutters and lets out a deep sigh. Ten moves closer to him, the younger tilts Kun’s head using his soft fingers, and he said with his sweet voice, “I can be your friend. Friends help each other.”

“You want to be friends with a star who lost his shine?” Kun beams, his heart half-expecting that Ten will say yes. Ten nodded his head, “Sure, I will.”

“But, how did you come up here?” Kun looks around; there was no one in this space except him and his _new_ friend. “It’s my first time to encounter a person who can come up here. I’ve been alone here for so long already, I got used to it… and now you’re here… like magic!” Kun exclaimed, he’s feeling slightly exhilarated by Ten’s presence.

Ten smiled at him, “I ended up here, I don’t know why. I am a traveler; however, I am not lost. I have my own map, I can go wherever I want to go.” Kun nodded his head as his response, he tried settling his thoughts first before answering, “I want to be a traveler too… I don’t want to be lost.” Kun smiled, a small and faint one.

“Then, I’ll be your map! You said you’re a star, right? How and why did you lost your shine?”

Kun shrugs, and he feels someone tap his back, when he turn around he’s now facing a girl, and when he looks around he’s in the library of their university, _great, I fell asleep while making my school works, great job, Qian Kun._ He bows his head, “I’m sorry… I think I fell asleep unconsciously…” The girl nodded at him and she shyly mutters, “It’s fine. The library’s about to close…”

Kun closes his own book and puts his things back to his bag while saying, “Oh, I am so sorry, I’ll leave now…” He bows his head again, “I am very sorry…” The girl smiled at him and just nodded, he smiles back and gets out of the library feeling embarrassed and slightly _pissed_.

When he got out, he leans his back on the wall and closed his eyes for a moment. He decided to buy dinner for him and Yukhei before going back to their dorm.

**________________**

“Do you think you can have like… a continuous dream?” Kun asked Yukhei, taking his food out of the paper bag. “I think that is only possible if you can control your dream, but those are just rare instances, gege, why?”

Kun shakes his head, “It just suddenly occurs to mind, go eat.” Kun smiled at his roommate who starts to dig in his food happily. Kun eats his own food quietly, thinking about his dream that seems to be continuous every time he sleep. 

Kun was busy rereading his finished essay when his phone rang, it’s a call from his mom. He sat up and answers his phone sluggishly, “Hi, mama.”

After his usual how-are-you, are-you-eating-well, mom-and-son conversation with his mom, he lay down on his bed and got completely lost with his own thoughts again.

_“Why are you crying? Tell me, Qian Kun… That lip is given to you for a reason…” His mother sound very worried but his lips continues to tremble while he’s crying his heart out. He looks at his mom with his swollen eyes, and try his best to speak, “Ma… I feel… numb…”_

“What are you thinking, Qian?” He looks at his side and there he is again— lying beside him is his friend, Ten. “I was thinking of the day that I lost my shine. It was too long ago, the memory is already blurry.”

Ten nods and hums, he’s trying to think of something to say to Kun, but the older guy starts to speak again, “All I remember is that… terrifying feeling inside of me. Do you think it is possible to feel different kinds of… intense emotions and feelings that you barely understand, while feeling empty at the same time?” Ten didn’t answer him, pondering his question, and then the younger one nods, “I think it is. Aren’t you scared of it though?”

“At first… I was.” Kun lies on his chest as he props his chin using both of his hands, “it was so terrifying that I always cry every single night.” He turns his gaze to Ten who was listening intently beside him, “I shine a lot before you know… they’re so happy when they look at me… they admire me a lot, thinking that I am so intelligent and talented… that I have all of the things in this world, and that I will be successful someday.”

“However…” Kun sighed, “They were wrong. Their expectations, their words are never encouraging; it was all a pressure to me. It’s the key that makes me go, makes me move like a mechanical doll to focus more, to work harder, and to be more than what I already am… it was exhausting.” He sat up and continues to let the words out of his mind, of his chest, it feels so right to tell Ten about all this. It’s as if he’s his human diary, he feels like he can be naked in front of Ten, that he can let this guy beside him to see his flaws, his entirety— even the wounded, stained and darkest side of him.

“I pushed to go on, I continue to shine and to light myself up thinking that it will make me better, it will help me grow— thinking that… I will be successful to be the brightest… but I failed and now that I lost my shine, I’m now a worthless star.” Ten shakes his head, disagreeing and he takes the hand of Kun as he reassuringly said, “Losing your shine doesn’t mean you’re worthless, maybe you’re just waiting for your time again to shine… like the moon… like every other stars. They don’t shine all the time, they have their time and they wait for it.”

Kun looks up at his friend, stares at his eyes and asks with his small and delicate voice, “Am I still going to shine? Am I going to be okay again?” 

Ten smiled at him, “The question is that… are you willing to wait for your turn? Are you willing to shine again, Kun?” Kun looks at his friend who’s eyes are beaming and shining so bright he feels as if he’s about to go blind so he closed and covers his eyes using his hand. When he opens his eyes again, what greeted him is his familiar room and the rays of the sun that feels so warm in his bare skin. He sits up and tousles his hair thinking of the question of the man in his dream, _Are you willing to shine again?_

**________________**

_Are you willing to shine again?_

_Are you willing to shine again?_

_Are you willing to shine again?_

“Someone’s spacing out like a complete idiot and here I am getting ignored, thank you so much.” Sicheng jokingly mutters but it didn’t faze his friend even a bit. He awfully look at his friend whose mind is obviously out of space, he clapped his hands and exclaimed, “Earth to Kun! Earth to Kun?!”

“Huh?” Kun finally looks at him, his mouth slightly open.

“Are you okay?” Sicheng asked, now completely worried. Kun nodded his head and asked, “Sicheng, do you think it is possible for us to dream about strangers? Those who we never met… never encountered… as in never, never?”

Sicheng tries to contemplate his question and then he shrugs, “I honestly don’t know. However, based on my basic knowledge, we can’t dream of someone we never met nor encountered. Why?”

Kun frowns, “That’s odd. I keep having this dream about this guy… but I don’t even know him.”

“You’re now having naughty dreams about a guy that you don’t know and never met?” Sicheng naughtily grins at him, when he noticed that Kun is looking seriously at him, he just said, “Maybe you’re not really acquainted to him but you saw him once on the street… or at the mall… it is possible that your mind remembers him that’s why you’re having dreams about him.”

Kun nodded his head, “Possible.”

Sicheng scoots closer to Kun and continues to tease him, “So, is he handsome?” Kun can’t help his smile as he nods, “I think he is exceptionally gorgeous.”

**________________**

“What?! You don’t know dancing?!” Ten asked Kun, completely bewildered. The older shakes his head and shyly mutters, “No.” Ten dramatically falls on his knees, “Not even music?” Kun shakes his head again, feeling slightly embarrassed.

“I can’t believe it. I enjoyed jumping and having fun with you in these clouds that are so soft, and I also enjoyed sliding with you on that rainbow once, I thought it was the most amazing thing… but you don’t know music and dancing?” Ten stands up again, “I thought that this place is too beautiful and magical to be true… but I don’t like a place without music and dance.”

Kun looks at his friend, confused, “Are you going to leave me alone? Just because this place have no music nor dance?”

Kun feels like he’s about to break when Ten smiled at him, “I won’t.”

Ten takes something from his pocket, raises this small black thing on his hand, “This is a phone. It have songs… or music, and with music, we can dance!”

“So they’re like… a pair?” Kun asked, staring at his friend who nodded his head enthusiastically, “Yes, well… you can say that they’re a pair.” Ten starts to play the song on his phone, Kun looks expectantly at his friend, and then he heard it… the music. The sound of the instruments in the background is soothing him and somehow it feels achingly familiar. He can feel his heart slowly melting by the sound of the music; he feels genuinely happy— like the time he played with Ten on the rainbow, running around the clouds. “Close your eyes Kun… try to feel the music… every beat, every melody… let it inside your heart, all of it…”

Kun nodded and closed his eyes. He feels like he’s about to cry because of the music, he feels elated, and sad; he feels like laughing, and crying. He can feel lots of emotions— _emotions that I can distinguish and overcome,_ he thinks. When the chorus of the song starts to play, Ten stands in front him, “Kun, open your eyes…”

Kun slowly opened his eyes, and there in front of him is his friend, Ten, offering his hand to him.

“Dance with me.” Ten mutters with a smile. _He looks so beautiful with his smile, I want to see and be lost in that smile forever…_ He thought as he nervously takes the hand of Ten. 

Dancing seems so familiar to him; they turn and spin slowly, they let their body to move along with the music. They were just staring at each other’s eyes— none of them dares to talk. They let their body, they let the beat of their hearts speak to each other. Kun can feel Ten’s warmth, can smell his sweet scent— it’s driving him insane. It’s been so long since the last time he has been aware by the beat of his own heart. With Ten, he feels so alive. He feels like he’s safe, that he’s more than worthy— that he is loved.

Ten wraps his arms around Kun’s neck, he moves much closer to him. Their faces are only inch apart from each other, Kun can feel Ten’s warm breathe. He doesn’t want to break the silence, but he wanted to let it out of his chest, “Ten…”

“Yes, Kun?” Ten asked in return, he’s looking at Kun with his eyes glimmering like the stars. Kun feels embarrassed when he remember that he is a star himself.

“I think I’m falling in love…” He hears something loud from the distance, when he looks at his right side, he sees the alarm clock on his bedside table; he turns it off feeling very annoyed he wanted to break it.

Kun closed his eyes and composed himself, _falling in love with someone from your dreams, Kun? Really?_ He thoughts and throws himself back to the bed. He takes the pillow and covers his face with it. He screamed loud, letting all of his frustrations off his chest.

**________________**

It has been exactly three months since he started having dreams about Ten, and it’s already a month since his dreams about him came to an end. The semester of their class has already ended and he decided to have his vacation on his parent’s house.

When he get there, his mother showered him with kisses and wrapped him in a tight hug. _He suddenly remember Ten’s wrapped arms around him_. He tried to remove that thought away from his mind. “How was your flight son? I’m sure you’re tired, go up to your room now.” His mom said, he nodded his head and went straight to his room.

He looks around his room and it still looks the same as it was before he left. He put his luggage on the corner of the room, and he sat on the bed, _It’s soft as the clouds from my dream_... He frowns and turns his gaze to his left and he saw his piano— the one he refused to touch and to play ever since his last performance.

He walks towards it, slightly afraid; his knees are getting weak so he sat on the small stool as he remove the crochet that is covering the piano. He runs his fingers along the keyboard of the piano, trying to remember how to play it. He closed his eyes, breathing softly, and he hesitantly let his fingers glide along the keys.

_“With music, we can dance!”_

_“So they’re like… a pair?” Kun asked, staring at his friend who nodded his head enthusiastically, “Yes, well… you can say that they’re a pair.”_

He started to get lost with his own thoughts, his fingers are starting to move fast and he’s playing the piano with much confidence this time…

_I can feel his breathe… I can smell his scent…_

Kun closed his eyes, feeling the music, feeling the melody traveling from his fingers up to his heart. _Ten, why aren’t you visiting my dreams anymore?_ He’s been asking this for a month now. The last dream that he had was the time he was supposed to tell Ten that he’s slowly falling in love with him.

_Did you leave to start your voyage again? You should’ve told me…_

He feels desperate. He feels stupid for falling in love with someone from his dream. The weight that he bears from before is now doubled.

_You are so unfair…_ He stopped playing the piano and then he heard his mom clapping from the door.

“I… I heard you playing the piano from the kitchen… it’s been so long, Kun…” His mother’s eyes are starting to fill with tears but his mom still manage to smile, “You’re still good, son.” He forced a smile, “Thanks ma…”

“Wash up so we can eat.” His mom told him, obviously happy to hear him play the piano after a long time. 

**________________**

Ever since Kun returned to their house, he never gets out of his room, unless it’s time to eat or he need to use the bathroom. His mother is getting worried, sure, he know it. With his mom’s continuous _‘go outside, Kun.’_ Or her _‘make some new friends, buy coffee on your favorite café downtown.’_ However, he doesn’t feel like going out.

He feels pathetic for having his heart broken by someone he _never_ even knew. He’s been playing the song from his last dream either on his phone or using his piano. He walks and sits in front of his piano again, he removes the cover and starts to play the song from that dream. At first, when he searched it on the internet, he can’t believe that it’s a _real_ song. He wonders if _his_ Ten is real.

He wonders if, just like what Sicheng told him, he really met Ten somewhere from the mall, or from his favorite bookstore, or from the café where he usually buy his coffee. _He wonder where he is right now_.

**_It's just another night,  
And I'm staring at the moon…_ **

He starts to sing, his voice weak but he still manage to do so. He wanted to let the pain out of his chest by singing, by playing the piano.

**_If you were here,  
I'd sing to you…_ **

He remembers how Ten’s face freaked out when Kun told him that he doesn’t know music nor dancing, the memory made him smile. He wonders if he’ll be able to sing for Ten, to dance with him again even if it’s just in his _dreams_ … He wonders if he’ll be able to see him again. _He wants to… he’s longing for him…_

_His touch…_

_His smile…_

_His laugh…_

_Oh, his non-stop questions about how he is._

_The way he cares… the way Ten makes him feel like he is loved._

**_I can see the stars…  
I wonder, do you see them, too?_ **

_“Am I still going to shine? Am I going to be okay again?”_ _Ten smiled at him, “The question is that… are you willing to wait for your turn? Are you willing to shine again, Kun?”_

Kun’s dreams are so clear and vivid in his mind he sometimes can’t believe that it’s just a _dream_. He doesn’t want to hold on to his dreams, he wanted to move on, but he feels like he can’t. Not when Ten is not with him.

**_You're the song my heart is beating to…_ **

When he finished playing the piano while half-singing the song, he just stared at his own hands that are now wet with tears. _He’s been crying again_ …

When his mom asked him before why he was crying, he whispers with tears streaming down his face that he feels numb and suffocated, that he feels like he’s drowning. His mom got really worried, so she decided to bring him to a professional who can help him, but he refused to ask for help. _I’m fine ma…_ He thinks no one could ever save him from his own thoughts… no one can save him from his own suffocating and drowning thoughts.

Now, he’s not just drowning… he feels like he lost his lifebuoy, his oxygen tank, _his only hope to get out of his drowning thoughts._ He feels like Ten turned off the lights on his path, he now feels much lonely in the dark. He walked to his bed and wept, burying his face on his pillow to suppress the sound of his cries. He feels so stupid trying to depend his last hope in life to someone who was meant to disappear, someone who’s temporary, someone he never knows.

When he stopped crying, he just stare at the moon from the window of his room, it is so bright it made him bitter. _How could it shine brightly when I’m crying and hurting so much like this? You’re unfair… like him,_ he thinks, and closed his eyes, hoping to see Ten in his dream.

**________________**

“Kun…” His mother called him from the door of his room.

“Ma, stop! Please! I don’t want to go outside, I don’t want to make some friends, and I don’t want to do anything!” He exclaimed as he put his book down and face his mom from his bed.

His mom just smiled at him as she patiently said, “Kun… I just want to check up on you. I love you, okay?” She entered the room and placed a small piece of paper on the table, “I’m not going to ask you anything anymore, I’ll just put it here… if…” Kun knows that his mother is trying her best not to cry in front of him, “If ever you feel like you need to ask for help already, you can go to this place or call their number…” His mom hesitantly walks towards the door, when she was about to close the door, Kun called her, “Ma…”

She looked back at Kun and he smiled at her, “Thank you… I love you too. I am sorry.” She just nodded her head and smiled warmly at him before closing the door.

**________________**

After contemplating for a week and looking at the piece of paper on his table every time he remembers Ten, he decided to go. It was an easy process, he just called the secretary of the Psychologist who will assess him and he’s good to go. The schedule is two hours from now, he decided to prepare in advance so that he won’t have to rush.

His mom smiles at him and utters, “Take care, Kun!” He knows how much this means to his mom, he’s somehow happy that he can make his mom feel at ease.

When he’s already on the bus, he feels so nervous. His hands are a little shaky as he look at it, and his heart is beating so fast he can’t help but curse under his breath, _shit, I shouldn’t have drink a coffee…_

He plugged in his earphones so that he can distract himself with some music. He knows he’s about to unravel his thoughts and his chaotic feelings and emotions with the help of other people but he’s not that sure if he’s already ready to do so. Aside from himself, Ten is the only person who knows about how chaotic his mind is, he’s the only one who knows about his real, deep, and dark feelings.

_Ten…_

He gets out of the bus with a heavy heart, but he’s already here. He can’t go back, he won’t go back.

_“Are you willing to shine again, Kun?”_ He can hear the echo of Ten’s voice in his ears, and he somehow feel comforted. _I am willing to shine again, Ten,_ he thought, hoping that Ten can hear his answer.

He takes a deep breath and gets inside the small building. Everything around the building is light colored. The walls are painted with beige that is so pleasing and calming in the eye, it’s like sipping his favorite coffee in the morning at his favorite café, he suddenly misses the aroma of the coffee once he gets inside that café, he reminds himself to go there one of this days. 

The floor is as white as his bed sheet, he already misses the feeling of the warmth of his bed, and the softness of it, _like Ten’s warmth while we were dancing in the soft clouds_ … He shakes his head for the nth time, trying to remove Ten from his mind.

There are few people who greeted him, politely smiling and bowing their heads, he just returns the gesture.

When he finally found the office of the specialist that he’s about to see, he stopped and closed his eyes first to calm his senses down. He tried thinking of his favorite book, his favorite music, his favorite flavor of ice cream… he breathed in and out counting from one to ten…

_Ten…_

_“Are you willing to shine again, Kun?”_ He nodded his head and knocks on the door. He heard someone said, “Come in.” He breathes deeply one more time before he opens the door and gets inside the office.

“Good afternoon.” He uttered politely as he bows his head.

“Good afternoon, perhaps you’re Mr. Qian Kun?” He nodded his head, and his eyes widened as he look at the man in front of him who looks awfully like, _“Ten?”_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this au, your comments will be highly appreciated, thank you!~ ♡ 
> 
> See you again with the next au (hopefully)~


End file.
